These are just some of the things I wrote down about John's story and ours coming together. Many of you have read this in an email I sent at the beginning of all of this, but I thought it was the best way to get the story on the blog (finally!)
In the fall of 2013 Ethan and I had a light-hearted yet real conversation like this:
Ethan: “We need another boy. Sam needs a brother.”
Me: “Let’s adopt one.”
Ethan: “Okay.”
Me: “Really?”
Ethan: “Yeah.”
Me: “Let’s pray, then. If God wants us to adopt a boy, He will make it happen. It’s not hard for Him… Dear God, if you want us to adopt a boy, we will. Please make it happen if you want us to.”
That must have been November 21, 2013, because two weeks later I wrote in my prayer journal the date 40 weeks from that night. I didn’t know “why” but along the lines of, “Hey- maybe our baby is being created right now and we can pray for him from the start of his life until birth.” The date I wrote: August 28.
Two weeks later, Ethan and I watched a documentary about adoption called, “Stuck.” We had been praying and thinking about adoption, but that night we literally shook hands—agreeing that we would start taking steps toward adoption and only stop if God told us otherwise along the way. I also wrote down the date 40 weeks from that day. In my prayer journal it says: “John” (Aug. 28, Sept. 11?)
Sometime in the fall (soon after we decided and felt led to start taking steps) I was reading my Bible and praying. I wrote down, “The work of this adoption will be done in prayer.”
I wrote each of our kids’ names and the theme of their name, story, birth, etc. It looks like this:
- Child #1's Name: Ask Your Heavenly Father for what you want.
- Child #2's Name: Let our children exist for God’s Glory.
- Child #3's Name: Please, ask specifics!
- (John) Child we don’t know yet: salvation, adoption, protection, funding, matching. PRAY IN FAITH! John 1:6-13 & Luke 1:63-80
Since that day I have been praying for our hopeful adopted son by the name of John.We’ve planned to adopt an infant from the U.S. It makes the most sense for our family. Here’s what we expected:
- Infant
- U.S.
- Likely African-American
- No special needs
- $40,000-$60,000 fundraising
Wednesday, August 20, 2014, I had the day to myself to clean, relax, etc. I came home and started looking at Wonderful Waiting Kids where special needs children from China and other countries are advocated for by a wonderful woman named Annie Hamlin.
Ethan and I were not planning to adopt an older child with special needs internationally—none of those things—for real, legitimate reasons. This is why I say that John “happened to us.” We were not looking for him. I believe God showed him to us.
Anyway, I am looking at the website, as I’ve done for the last few years off and on just because of my love for adoption… I read several children’s profiles and then John’s. (I didn’t notice his name was John.) I was automatically drawn to him and felt compassion and love for him. I scrolled up and saw that his name was John… A little basic info on John is that he is 12 years old and has cerebral palsy.
That night I showed Ethan John’s video and profile and thought he would respond with something like, “Let’s pray for him.” But nothing about US adopting him. After all, we were adopting a baby from the U.S. Ethan was touched by the video and I believe he said, “Could that be our son?” I asked if I should ask for more information about John. He said, "Yes."
I emailed Annie via the website and asked for more information about John. She sent me info and offered to talk on the phone about him. We talked the next day. But before that phone call…
Amy has gone from a name/resource to a friend very quickly. Our mutual friend, Lisa gave me her name and contact information years ago when we talked about my desire to adopt. Amy and her husband Aaron have adopted five children, three of whom are from China. She and I hadn’t met, but she had graciously talked with and educated me about adoption several times over the past few years through phone calls. I emailed her before seeing John’s profile and we set up a time to talk about adoption. I was going to ask her about fundraising… you know… for our domestic infant adoption. We ended up talking about John. This was the night after Ethan and I saw John online.
At first Amy was “discouraging”(for lack of a better word) about our family adopting John because of his age and us having three younger children at home. (And rightfully so- we had felt the same way… until John.) Then Amy looked up John’s profile and the conversation shifted to very encouraging. The more we talked and the more information Amy read about John, she was amazed at how similar John and her son were. I can’t begin to list the many likenesses we found and continue to find in our families, circumstances, stories, etc.
The next day, I talked with Annie and had a very similar conversation… appropriate hesitancy about adopting an older child, until the details about John and our family’s draw to him piled up.
Minor little detail… Annie told us about an incredible grant of $15,000 one couple has put toward John’s adoption! I’ve also found out about a $5,000 grant fundraised for John by the women who work with him, and the orphanage has said that they are willing to waive their $5,600 fee in his adoption!
The Shriners will provide the medical treatment John needs for his CP at no cost!
I was sure of and totally peaceful about our going forward to adopt John before Ethan was. I prayed and prayed and tried to be patient while I waited for my husband’s final decision for our family.
All of this just makes me respect and appreciate Ethan even more.
On Wednesday, August 27, Ethan and I went to Amy and Aaron’s house to talk and meet their family. We had a wonderful time and talked about the big picture, the daily life details of having a child with CP, traveling to China, all of it. It was really helpful to Ethan and me to see their family living what we were prayerfully considering living. Their son, who is so much like John sounds, is such a friendly, smart, kind kid and neither of us would help but love him. When I thanked him for praying for John and for us, he said, “Of course—it’s my job.” He has been praying for John to be adopted since hearing about him. What a blessing if John and Levi can be friends!
August 28 (yes, August 28) Ethan sat down with the kids and me, and told us that we could start the process of trying to adopt John! (I did tell him the night before about the dates I had written in my journal and forgotten about.)
Both of our families have been so supportive and encouraging to us as we present this opportunity to them. I think we all already love John.
A couple of weeks before all of this, our oldest child left her birthday money and a note on my pillow. $43.50 and “This is for our adoption. P.S. Do not try to pay me back.” Our son gave us his $1 from his dresser and they had a last minute yard sale and earned $1.
The educational psychologist who has worked with John and has been advocating for him has been a tremendous resource as well. We asked her specifically about our concerns bringing an older child into our home with younger children. Her response was very honest and positive. She and the women who work with him, say that John’s temperament and disability make that “concern” not concerning.
Please be praying. I have been convinced since Fall 2013 that the work of this adoption will be done in prayer. We just want what God wants.
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